Sunday, October 24, 2010

I'm Raising A Cat Burgler

With my older 5 children, I have pleasant visions of what they will become when they grow up. Doctors, chefs, scientists, Firepeople, Veterinarians... you know - good, helpful, courageous.... very positive professionals.

Not so for my youngest.

I'm pretty sure that kid is bound to be a Cat Burglar.

She is really, really good at stealing things.

From her earliest days, she was able to get into places and take things that she shouldn't have been able to access. Here are some of her earlier stealth missions:

The door to this room was shut. A normal baby would not have been able to get into this laundry area with the dog food and the recycle bin. However, it was a piece of cake for Environmentally Friendly Baby:

The Egg Stealing Phase. This phase lasted for weeks. I would randomly walk into a room to find either A) the baby playing with a dozen eggs and looking cute, as in the photo below; or B) eggs smashed all over the floor and Egg Stealing Baby in another room playing innocent. Now, seriously, most kids this little would *never* have been able to even get the refrigerator door open. No problem at all for Egg Stealing Baby.

The child was an absolute Christmas Tree Menace. She was highly annoyed because for some ridiculous reason, we put all of the most interesting [and breakable] ornaments up high on the tree where she couldn't reach them. I was certain she would plummet to her death during one of her Ornament Stealing Escapades last year, but no. [Several ornaments DID, however, meet an early demise]. She's really good, that one.

I wonder if she thought that Snowman Ornament was worth all the effort she put into stealing him?

For a while she branched out into Hacking. I would come into the room to find all manner of strange things on the computer screen. Including a Mostly Naked Hacker Baby at times.

And since then, she's only gotten stealthier and more spectacular with her thieving ways.

This week, for example, I was making some pumpkin muffins to take to a friend.

Now, mind you, my little Cat Burglar had already eaten TWO huge muffins that I made special for her. [Which is a lot for a kid who weighs only 21 pounds IMO]. I made another batch for my friend. They turned out beautiful. I set them on the counter [up high, out of reach] to cool and went to reply to an email from my boss [I got a job! Did I mention that?!].

Less than 3 minutes later, I realize that Cat Burglar is VERY quiet. This is *always* a bad thing. Always.

I walk into the kitchen to find that Cat Burglar has *silently* pulled up one of her little chairs, climbed up onto the counter, and taken one bite from each of the dozen muffins I made for my friend. Just one bite. Out of all of them.


So, I scolded Cat Burglar [while laughing hysterically on the INSIDE] and then made a new batch.

But seriously - I can SO see her making a long and very profitable career out of stealing highly desired but obscure things from impossible places.

And she has a knack for getting the job done before you catch her. I mean, biting one dozen muffins in less than 3 minutes - AFTER moving furniture and climbing to get up there within that same 3 minutes - you gotta give the kid some cred. She's GOOD! So, while on the bad days I despair and envision a long future of going to visit her in the maximum security prison every week when she grows up; I think it is more likely that I'll be visiting her at her mansion. Which she will, of course, procure with her massive amounts of ill gotten gains.

It is going to be an interesting ride to see where this one ends up. ;)

1 comment:

  1. heehee, that's amazing, really. I hope that she will use her powers for good...maybe a government secret agent or something...