Quote of the Day:

In the category of things I never thought I'd actually hear someone say:

My son loves to hold the baby while he does his homework. A few minutes ago he looks up at her & says "So, you just put a booger in my mouth, huh?!"

I actually did a spit take w/ my juice... LOL! [Only funny because it wasn't MY mouth she stuck her boogie in! ;) ]

He handled it remarkably kindly - didn't even toss her out of his lap! ;)

Reflections on Tobit

I love the Book of Tobit. It is one I read and re-read over the years.

If you also love this book, then skip my little summary here. If you haven't read this book, I'll provide a little synopsis:

Tobit is a good and kind man. He is married to Anna and he has one son, Tobiah. Tobit is a righteous man, who does what is right without fail and risks his life over and over to do good. Because of his unwavering goodness and faithfulness to God, he has lost everything but his wife and son - he was a prosperous man who has now had everything taken from him by evil leaders as punishment for his tenacity in the serving the Will of God. As the Book opens, Tobit is 62 years old, living in poverty with his wife and only child. He has been struck blind and has just had, basically, the most foul run of luck one can imagine.

The story is also Sarah's story. Sarah is the only daughter of one of Tobit's kinsmen. She is plagued by the demon Asmodeus. She has been married seven times and seven times Asmodeus has killed her husband on their wedding night [as the new husband first "approached her for intercourse"]. [How's THAT for giving a woman a complex? ;) ]

So, the Book of Tobit opens with "Tobit's Prayer for Death" and "Sarah's Prayer for Death" in Chapter 3 - both good, upstanding people who have had really horrible things happen and who are in despair, begging God to let them die.

Instead of letting them both Die, God sends the Archangel Raphael to help them. [How I love those Archangels! It is no accident that my son is named for one of them!]

Thus follows an excellent story - one in which Raphael comes in disguise to go with Tobiah [the son] to retrieve some money his father left with a relative some distance away. In the course of their adventures, Raphael procures Sarah to become Tobiah's wife [to the great advantage of both families]. Raphael helps Tobiah and Sarah expel the demon Asmodeus and Raphael pursues Asmodeus into the desert and "binds him hand and foot". Leaving Tobiah and Sarah to, presumably, enjoy a very nice wedding night [which they begin with a beautiful prayer to God]. Then Raphael leaves Tobiah with his new in-laws so they can celebrate a 14 day wedding feast while Raphael completes the journey to retrieve the money from Tobit's kinsman. Which he does successfully.

They all return home - Tobiah much wealthier and with a beautiful, beloved new wife. Upon their return, Raphael tells Tobiah how to cure his father's blindness, which Tobiah accomplishes.

Tobiah then offers Raphael half of everything he has gained as payment and in thanks for his help. Raphael refuses, and then reveals who he really is and why God sent him. He departs, instructing Tobiah to Praise God in Everything and to always give Glory to God. [which Tobiah takes to heart!]

The book of Tobit ends much later - Tobit has lived to the happy old age of 112, a wealthy and comfortable old age. He has lived many happy years, watching his son and Sarah live a wonderful life blessed with many children. The final chapter brings us to Tobit's death bed, peacefully surrounded by Tobiah and his seven sons....

It is a beautiful story. I find it a very hopeful story. A reassurance that even though we may face trials in life, trials that may seem never ending and insurmountable at times, God still has good things planned for us. God does not Foresake us, He does not forget us or abandon us.

At the very moment Tobit and Sarah were praying for death, God was sending Raphael to save them.

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for me and my children.

A few months back, I WAS praying for death. I would wake up and think "Maybe a truck will hit me today"... my life felt completely hopeless, I felt completely abandoned by God.

I could not, at that time, imagine that, even this soon afterwards, I would be happy. That my life would be relatively peaceful. That I would find great joy in being able to raise my children without the constant stress and darkness that came from living with my husband. That I would look forward to waking up every day with excitement and joy.

I do, at times, feel plagued by my own personal demon. I do wonder if I don't suffer from "Demonic Oppression" [not the same as "Possession" - Oppression is when you have a demon that basically just follows you around messing with your life - like Asmodeus killing off all of Sarah's husbands just because he could.]

But I feel hopeful that if that IS the case [or even if I'm just extraordinarily unlucky], God will deliver me from this. God has good things planned.

Maybe God will even send Raphael to look after me and my children. ;)

For now, my prayer for my children and I is that God would protect us and provide for us. I pray that God takes us under His wing and protects us from certain persons who seem bent upon our absolute destruction. That He would protect us from extreme poverty and that He would make a way for me to provide for my children.

And I pray that God will grant me a peaceful death, surrounded by my children and grandchildren, ready to go home to Him after a lifetime well lived in His Service. [That "well lived in His Service" part is up to me of course - I'm working on it!!!]

God Bless You!

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

God is preparing me for something, and apparently it is going to be something *Really Hard*. Like in the movie "I Am Legend" - where the Hero spends the remaining years of his life fighting really scary monsters and tirelessly seeking the cure to save humanity all by himself, even when it seems completely hopeless... you know, God is getting me ready for something simple along those lines.



That's the only way my Boot Camp of a Life makes any sense at all. ;)

The bar has now been set at a completely new height for "The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done".

I used to think I had done some pretty hard things in my life. Bwahahaha!!

I had NO CLUE how easy those things would seem to me today.

I just came through the absolute worst 3 weeks of my entire life. It started 3 weeks ago with one child throwing up ...

I lived through the worst stomach flu I've ever had; which must have been a norovirus or something because it was 6 days per person and took 12 days to run through the whole family. I took care of 6 very sick kids, including a puking baby, while puking myself, all of us running high fevers and with bodies so achy and painful I thought I'd die....

Then, before the last kid was even completely done with the stomach flu, we were hit with the "Real" flu - Seasonal Flu - and within days 4 of my children and I were desperately ill.

For 7 days I ran a very high fever, I hurt so bad I could barely move - muscles on fire, joints screaming. I coughed until I pulled every muscle in my torso... and while doing this, I cared for 6 children.

I literally cannot remember the last time I got more than a half hour of sleep at a time, or the last time I slept without holding a feverish baby or a toddler.

Man. That really sucked.

Now I am mostly recovered. I'm a little concerned that my cough is turning into pneumonia & a double ear infection, but the high fevers and flu symptoms are subsiding. The two youngest girls are still a bit under the weather with it too, but they also seem to be on the upswing. [It was so bad that New Years Eve I really thought the baby might die - she was so feverish and non-responsive and her eyes were swollen and glazed over - I've never seen a kid look so sick - totally terrifying].

And now I have a new standard for the "Hardest Thing".

But you know what? It also instills in me a great sense of confidence. In much the same way that a difficult unmedicated labor and birth can empower a new mother to feel that she can do *anything* if she was able to get through that challenge, this last challenge has left me pretty confident that I CAN handle whatever crisis may loom in our future. Most things are going to seem like a cake walk after this.

I am becoming a Tough Old Bird in the Lord's Refinery - a Bird Tough enough and Fierce enough to raise 6 kids alone and do it really well.

So, you know, don't mind me. I'm just getting my shotgun loaded for the Zombie Invasion... cause ain't nothing gonna get through me to hurt my babies! ;)



[Oooh - and I simply MUST do a Shout Out to my lovely Uber Children. Stuck at home sick for 3 weeks, no school, Christmas and New Years completely canceled for us, no celebrating.... and you'd think they'd be absolute horrors, right? No way! They were AWESOME! I was so proud of them. Things could have been soooo much worse -but they were all so sweet and kind and helpful and well behaved. Just excellent. And my amazing Monkey1 was a TRUE saving Grace for the family this week because she was extremely helpful to me - helping to take care of me while I took care of the sick baby and toddler and 6yo and 8yo - and doing things like making Mac and Cheese for dinner all by herself when I was literally too delirious with fever to get up and do it myself! I am so truly blessed by these amazingly kids!]

God Bless You!

2010 HAS to be Better, Right?

Just so that y'all know I haven't dropped off the face of the planet or died tragically in a nuclear accident... I'm here. Still breathing....snottily and wheezily.

So, last week we had what I guess ended up being Rotovirus - 6 days per person of the most horrible stomach bug ever, complete with high fevers and horrible muscle aches. Which we then spread to my entire family and ended up causing Christmas to be canceled. Which made my children even more depressed - they were already extremely upset that their dad refused to come see them at Christmas time. They were heartbroken, and this did NOT help.

Then, at the tail end of the Rotavirus hell [12 days from when the first of us got sick until the last of us were finally well], two of my children started up with fevers and horrible sounding hacking coughs. That was Christmas Day.

One of those children [the 6yo] was sick for 5 days and is fine now. One of those children [the 8yo] has continued to run fevers on and off for almost a week now and has developed a truly concerning cough. AND the two little girls - the 1yo and 2yo - got sick 3 days ago and have been sicker than any children I've ever seen.

So, we made a trip to the Ped today who verified that we have the Flu. [The girls did NOT appreciate the nose swab...] The "regular" flu, not the swine flu [which, of course, we already had in October]. The two little girls have both got horrid ear infections - the doc said the 1yo has the "worst ears" he's ever seen. And the 8yo has pneumonia. All 3 are on antibiotics now.

Two remaining children have not yet gotten the flu - I pray they won't. We'll see.

I have, of course, gotten the flu. And I'm trying to take care of 6 children with no sleep for 2 weeks straight and just trying to survive and ... just damn.

For those who are keeping up out of a morbid sense of curiosity - we have now had pneumonia [8yo and I] in Sept, Swine Flu in Oct and now Rotavirus last week and the "Seasonal" [or "regular"] flu this week, in addition to various other little colds and coughs in between. On top of everything else [which would be QUITE ENOUGH on its own without sickness].... I mean seriously.

I feel like looking up at God and asking "Really?!!!" [No offense God, but truly... are You trying to KILL me or what?!]

And I have my family here that wants to help, but then I have to live with the guilt of making THEM sick [we had to cancel Christmas, remember, because of me and my sick kids infecting everyone]. :( And, of course, the flu can be fatal to older adults, so wouldn't that just be the most horrible guilt trip in the world if I accidentally kill one of my beloved parents?

I also got news this week that is completely breaking my heart [it is not my news to share, forgive me], so if you wouldn't mind, just offer some serious heart felt prayers up for my "Special Intention" - I promise you it is the best cause to pray for that you can imagine.

A prayer or two for my fortitude, endurance, and sanity would also be quite welcome.

I can't wait to see the end of this year... Bye Bye 2009. Don't let the door hit you in your booty on the way out!!!

Wretched Year.

Contemplating Job

I have done a great deal of reading in the Book of Job in the Old Testament. [For some odd reason ;) ].

I was reading it again this morning, and specifically contemplating Job's answer to the Lord in the last chapter:

Job 42
Job's Confession

1Then Job answered the LORD and said,
2"I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
3'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
"Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
4'Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
5"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
6Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes."

[Notice how the words: "You suck God! How could you do this to me?!" are NOT part of his speech? LOL!]

Many people over the years have compared my life to Job [which is ridiculous really - Job endured trials far beyond my ability to endure - for example, if my children all died there would not be one shred of sanity left within me].

But I think people don't read to the end of the book.

The story of Job is actually a *Comedy* [in the classical sense], NOT a *Tragedy*.

Job perseveres. He loves the Lord no matter what befalls him. When he has lost everything and even his own wife is telling him to curse the Lord, he perseveres.

The book of Job ends with the above prayer and then with a final bit that tells of the many gifts the Lord bestows upon Job for his faithfulness - Job becomes twice as wealthy as he was, twice as prosperous, he is widely respected. He has seven sons and three daughters who are beautiful above any other women in the land. Job is, incidentally, one of the only men in the Bible who gives an inheritance to his daughters [and not just to his sons], and his daughters are some of the only daughters mentioned by name in the Bible: Jemimah, Keziah, and Keren-happuch.

The book of Job ends like this: "and he saw his children, his grandchildren, and even his great-grandchildren. Then Job died, old and full of years."

Wow.

The story of Job is not a sad story about some pathetic guy who loses everything - it is a story of hope and beauty, about a man of character and courageous Faith who remains steadfast and loving in the face of terrible adversity. A man who, in the end, comes face to face with his God and is blessed beyond measure.

The next time someone makes a tongue in cheek comment about my life being the life of Job, I will smile broadly and say "Thank you!!!".

Today I Praise God for all the good in my life, for the hope found in the Book of Job, and I look towards the next chapter in my own Comedy - with much Hope and Gratitude and Love for God.

Thoughts on Twilight??

[spoiler warning: if you haven't read those stupid Twilight books and you plan to, there are spoilers below so skip this post].

Public school is going great for us now - it is actually a good experience most of the time these days, and I'm so happy about that.

I haven't seen near the negative pressure from the other kids at school that I was expecting - over all, the kids at my children's school are very nice children. [The one that was bullying and ridiculing my oldest so badly the first few weeks of school had the courtesy to move away. Wasn't that nice of him? LOL!]

We do have one issue that is coming up though: the Twilight books.

According to my oldest child, "Everyone" in her 5th grade class has read them and she's just devastated that she hasn't and doesn't know what they are talking about. [And she has the added handicap that she's my child - the idea that there is a book out there that she can't read is just beyond bearing. Books MUST be read! LOL!]

I have a HUGE issue with this one though.

I read all four of those books in about 4 weeks [which is about 2200 pages of book...ugh!]. Other issues aside, they are just poorly written - they stink. I feel that the author had some very good, fairly unique and interesting ideas, but her actual execution of the books is just miserable.

The first book in the series, "Twilight", is the best of the four I believe [and it was bad IMO], and they go dramatically down hill from there - culminating in book 4 which is one of the worst books I've ever suffered through - I hated it.

Poor writing aside though, I think these books are bad because of the characters involved.

The main character, teenage Bella, is pursued by a Vampire named "Edward" who is an obsessive stalker. Seriously, if he was human and not a "sexy Vampire", he'd be in jail. He is *insanely* possessive and controlling of Bella's life and a really, really sick model of a "romantic character". And teenage girls the world over LOVE this character now - he is THE model for what they are looking for in a man - which scares me half to death. I was once engaged to a guy much like Edward - only not a Vampire ;) - and it is NOT a romantic thing, it is a living hell.

Then there is the other main character, "Jacob", who is a Native American Werewolf who also loves Bella. In my opinion, she uses him badly [he is my favorite character in the books though, so maybe I'm biased] and breaks his heart over and over just so she won't be lonely while she waits for Edward. Then, in one of the most bizarre twists of any plot ever, he instantly falls madly in love with Bella's infant daughter in book 4 and waits for her to grow up so he can be her husband .... which was just stinking creepy IMO.

And let's just talk about book 4... because that's really where it gets too bad to read. The one good thing I can say about the series is that there is no pre-marital sex, however - TEENAGE Bella does marry Edward in book 4 and the first part of the book is a soft core porn romance about their honeymoon - no vivid details, but definitely enough steamy-ness to get every teenage girl on the planet going places she shouldn't in her mind.

Then, TEENAGE Bella becomes pregnant instantly, is extremely sick while pregnant [she DOES forbid an abortion of the baby, which was actually cool], and is dying in childbirth until Edward has to "turn" her into a blood sucking Vampire to "save her life". [Bella has been BEGGING him to turn her into a Monster for the whole 4 book series, she finally gets her wish].

Then the baby is some sort of bizarre human/Vampire half breed who has super powers and... gosh, it just gets more and more bizarre....

I just don't want my 11 year old reading these books....

What are other moms doing? [And I know some of you will disagree with me because, obviously, these books are EXTREMELY popular and well loved by millions].

I am not one to ban books, and I will be comfortable with her reading these later [hopefully after she's 16 or so ... even better, after she's 21 LOL!].

Comments? Opinions? ;)

Quote of the Day:

"Happiness Is A Choice" - Randy Disher

I needed to hear this tonight. It is very true, isn't it?