Divorce Is Like A Zombie Invasion

In order to survive my divorce in a relatively sane manner, I have decided to seek help from from books and a therapist and through a support group, and it is really helping me process my emotions and thoughts about divorce.

And I've come to understand that Divorce is like a Zombie Invasion.

We were talking last night in my divorce class/group about grief and the fact that divorce is very much like the death of a spouse - even though the person doesn't actually die, it is the death of your relationship and you lose that person just as surely as you would if they had died. The instructor was saying that most divorced people face extreme pressure from everyone they know to just "get over it", but research and experience show clearly that it takes most divorced people about 5 years to completely heal from the divorce. The instructor was saying that nobody expects a widow to just "get over it" and start dating within weeks of her husband's death [to "get back in the saddle again" as they often put it], but that with divorce people often say such ridiculous things to you.

I thought about this more, and, while I do agree that it is a kind of death in a very definite, concrete sense; I think divorce is actually worse.

Divorce is like a Zombie Invasion - suddenly, the person you love more than anything on Earth "dies" and they are taken from you against your will. The person who you most relied on, most enjoyed being with, the person who promised to love you *FOREVER* is Gone.

But, it is worse than if they just died, because you turn around and the Son of a Bitch has turned into a Zombie and is trying to eat your brains. They have become someone *else* - someone different, someone who wants to hurt you, someone who is alien and no longer shares your hopes and dreams - who, even more, wants to destroy those things and take them from you.

Divorce is the worst kind of betrayal. It may sound incredibly horrible for me to say this, but I would MUCH rather be a widow than a divorced woman. I often worried myself sick about my husband dying during our marriage because he was so ill at times, and that was something that was almost a phobia for me - that something would happen to my precious beloved husband and he would die. But the reality is that it would have been INFINITELY preferable - because in death he still would have loved me. He still would have been my husband. He would not be the number one active source of pain and hardship in my life - he would not be trying to screw me over at every turn. He would not be going out of his way to find ways to hurt me. He'd just be... dead.

Divorce often entails a personality and values change in one of the partners. Suddenly the partner abandons the values and morals they held for all the long years of the marriage and they start acting in ways that just a few short years ago would have been abhorrent to them. They *become* the exact same kind of person they would have fought to protect their children from before. One minute your partner is shooting the heads off the Zombies to protect you and the children and the next you turn around and he's a Zombie himself trying to eat your brain and the teeny tasty little brains of your children.

Geez. And in divorce [unlike Zombie Invasions], you aren't allowed to blow his head off, even when it seems very appropriate to do so. LOL!

Divorce also tends to make your friends disappear much like a Zombie invasion. You look around and suddenly realize "Hey, where'd all my friends go?!!!". Now, if you are fortunate, you have your core "Zombie Invasion Buddies" that stick by you no matter what - those guys are worth their weight in shotgun shells, believe me. :) But you will see many of your friendships just kind of dissipate. Not necessarily intentionally on the part of your friends, but simply because the situation has changed and things aren't comfortable any longer [fortunately at least they don't usually turn into Zombies and then try to eat your Brains in Divorce like they would in a Zombie Invasion - unless, of course, you are one of the unlucky people who has your partner leave you for your best friend :( ].

In a Zombie Invasion, you often have to leave your home because it has been made uninhabitable by Zombies. In divorce you often have to leave your home because you are so stinking poor there is no way you could afford to live in your home any longer.

The Zombie Invasion effect is even worse for children - they suddenly look up at the parent they have always adored and trusted to put their best interests first and instead of good old "Daddy" or "Mommy" they see a Monster who totally destroys their lives - forcing them to face what seems like insurmountable loss all at once. And not just the loss of their Family, which is indeed completely devastating, but also the loss of friends, their home, neighbors, favorite things and places - most especially if the custodial parent is forced to move.

Just like a Zombie Invasion, Divorce is the death of a family, of a future, of a Dream. Whether your partner is turned into a literal Zombie or whether he or she voluntarily jumps on the Zombie Train and divorces you of his or her own free will, the effect is the same. The Family is annihilated - everything that your family was, everything it stood for, every goal it had, every Mission it sought to fulfill, every "inside joke" you shared - is OVER. The survivors try to pick up the pieces, to find meaning, to find some way to move forward - but no matter what they find or how well they eventually heal, that Family is destroyed. Nothing will ever be the same - all of that Family's expectations and hopes for the future are gone - vanished in the blink of an eye.

Just like in a Zombie Invasion, Divorce can really make you question everything and want to just give up. After blowing the heads off so many Zombies, you start to just feel like it isn't worth it any more. You feel exhausted, you feel alone, you feel devastated, you feel like the only human being in a sea of Zombies, you feel like nothing will ever get better, you question everything you ever believed, everything you thought was true. You question who you are - CAN you do this? Is this whole Invasion your fault somehow? And WHAT is wrong with you anyway that you are here in the middle of a Zombie Invasion to start with - does God hate you or something?

Sometimes [a lot of times?] you just want to drop your shot gun and give in. But of course, in the Zombie Invasion you don't get the peaceful rest of death, you become a monster too and go on to wreak havoc in your own right. In divorce, especially with children involved, to give up is to become another Zombie in the lives of your loved ones, and most especially in your children's lives - to condemn them to a Hell you wouldn't wish on anyone.

Either way it Sucks.

So, to all my righteous Brothers and Sisters out there who are with me here trying to Survive the Zombie Invasion, I say turn up the Bob Marley and keep on keeping on. You are NOT alone and one day the Sun will Rise and the Invasion will be a thing of the past. And then we get to walk in the Sunshine and re-populate the planet, right?! ;)

God bless you!

Life on Mars

I'm seriously considering changing the name of my blog to "Life on Mars" because that's really so much more descriptive of my life these days.

I am torn a lot about my blog. I have made a real effort over the past almost 3 years of blogging to be "real". To be honest and genuine. I've taken criticism at times for how honest I am on my blog, but that's OK. I have been contacted over the years by a lot of different women who have found support in reading my blog - women dealing with mental or physical illness in a partner, women dealing with a partner who abandons them and then wants to reconcile, women who are so relieved to hear from a homeschooling mother who is up front about having a messy home and feeling overwhelmed at times, women dealing with PIH and Pre-Eclampsia and looking for support - all of these women have found my blog and have found something here that made them feel less alone. That made them feel less like a freak. That made them feel a part of the human family - they felt supported.

That is important to me. I want to support others who may be going through things I've already survived [or am surviving]. I want to be a voice out in blog land saying "Hey, it isn't all Shiney Happy out there, but man is it still GOOD!". Because at the end of the day, that's my life - sometimes my life just plain sucks. It really does. But as a general rule, Life is Good and God is Gracious and nothing is going to hold me back from becoming who He wants me to be. I want to share that spirit and that recognition - that witness of God's love if you will - with the world.

But now I'm in such a weird place - because I am, quite literally, an Alien in almost every single social situation.

I was already a Freak - I have 6 kids. I am a Christian that actually believes all that stuff in the Bible. I was a Homeschooler. I'm a little bit of a Hippy with definite Granola leanings. I'm a bit of an environmentalist. I'm an avid organic gardener and a chicken lady. I mean, I already had a lot of "weirdo" points stocked up before this all happened.

And now I am a "Devout Christian Divorced Mother of Six Children".

I don't fit in *anywhere*.

I don't fit in at Church. The people at Church are *polite*, but that's as far as they are gonna take it - my whole situation seems like such a mess that I think it quite genuinely just scares people off - nobody wants to deal with it. [Heck, *I* don't want to deal with it]. It really isn't anyone's fault, it is just the reality of where I am.

I don't fit in to the secular world, because I do have these crazy ideas about God being real and loving and all of this.

I don't fit in with Single Moms, because, so far, nobody I've met who is single has 6 kids. Or anything even close. Every single mom I've met looks at me and thinks "Geez, at least I'm not THAT lady" and they pity me. Which really stinks. I don't want to be pitied - I treasure my children and I feel completely blessed to have them.

I don't fit in with the married moms either. I think in some subtle way I am a reminder that their worlds could come crashing down too - not likely, fortunately, but possible. I feel like I bring a sense of vague unease to women every where I go. Because if I could end up like this [as committed to making it work as I was], then maybe anyone could end up like this.

I don't fit in with the feminists. I am the *poster child* for their campaign to get women to leave children in day care and *Work*Work*Work* because you can't ever depend on any man to take care of you. While they may be right about that "you can't depend on a man to take care of you" thing, I do NOT regret leaving the work force to raise my children - I think my children benefited in myriad ways and they will reap the rewards of that for their entire lives. TOTALLY Worth It as far as I'm concerned.

I learned tonight that I don't fit in at the Divorce Support Group either. Only one other person there even had kids and that person only had one older school aged child. They were all looking at me like I had 3 heads. They were all nice, but not eager to make friends, lets just say. [Again that overwhelming feeling of people thinking "Well, my life sucks, but at least I'm not THAT lady!" . ugh.]

So, here I am, living on Mars and looking around at all the Earthlings - not knowing what really to do with myself. I feel completely alienated from every other living human being - I feel like I have a big Scarlet "A" on my head, only it stands for "Alien" not "Adultery".

And I'm torn over how much to share here.... in the past I've always felt I would be helping others by sharing how I dealt with my struggles and by sharing my joys, but in this case - who am I going to help? I don't think there ARE any other "Devout Christian Divorced Mothers of Six Children" out there - and if there are, the odds of them happening upon my blog are pretty slim I'd wager.

So, Geez. What do I do? Do I share what is "real" even though it is really raw right now? Do I turn the blog into a "Shiny Happy Blog" [GAG] and pretend everything is all nicey-nice here in Wonderland? Do I shut the whole blog down and let it go?

I don't know.

My Children Are Picking My New Husband

[Ha - don't panic, I'm not serious!]

A frequent topic of conversation around our house is that Mommy should start dating and re-marry and get a new husband. [Is that weird? I don't know - I didn't expect it, but all of the kids feel strongly that Mommy should not be alone. I, on the other hand, have my doubts about matrimony ever being a good thing in my life again - marriage is HARD! And, in my personal experience, painful, exhausting, gut wrenching and it still may turn out badly even when you give it 110%!!!]

I think the situation is kind of funny though - what they have to say is *really* revealing about their character, and it is amusing to hear what they come up with.

So, for those who are curious, these are the specifications The Monkeys have set forth for my new husband:

1. He must already have children. His children must be nice kids and he must have done a good job being a dad to them. It does not matter how old the children are - my children say they would love some older siblings, but they also luuuuuuv babies so younger kids would be really cool too. Some of each would be even better.

2. The more children he has, the better. Up to 6. My oldest says she does not want me to marry a man with more than 6 children, because more than 12 children all together would be "too many". [ROFL!] My younger children have requested various numbers of children, up to and including 15, because they thought it would be really cool to have 21 children in the home. [Why 21? I have no clue! ;) ]. But, the minimum they will accept seems to be around 4. 4-6 kids seems to be the ideal range for the hypothetical Monkey Step father to possess.

3. A man with at least one son is very important. The son does not have to be the same age as my son [though my son would prefer this ideally he says], but he should have at least one son. The absolute ideal would be a man with 5 sons and 1 daughter and then we would have 6 of each. LOL! [I am proud of my daughters' compassion and concern for my lone boy!]

4. He must be a Christian. He must attend Church every single week that he is able to and have a strong faith.

5. He does not have to be from the United States originally, but it IS very important that he speak English. If he speaks two [or more] languages, that's even better.

6. He cannot be gray. [ROFL!] Skin tones of choice are: black, white, brown, yellow, red... even purple, but he must NOT be gray according to my 6 year old. That is the forbidden color. So, as long as I steer clear of those Gray Guys we will be fine. ;)

7. He must have a good sense of humor [or "be funny" as my 6yo says]. They will have no overly serious men in the running. ;)

Finally, the children rule that they get final say so. IF there should arise a circumstance in which I find any man that I might think is even possibly suitable for marriage, he must meet them and THEY get the final say so on whether he is acceptable or not.

I really found this very amusing tonight [this was our dinner conversation LOL!]. I'm really proud of the children I'm raising - these kids have their heads on straight - they are generous, loving, accepting and they know what IS important and what is NOT. [Notice, money nor race nor good looks was a deciding factor - but faith, humor, and good fathering ability WAS!]

You know, looking over their list, if I should become insane and decide that re-marriage is a good idea, then I think I *WILL* let my children pick the guy - they will do a MUCH better job than I could do I think!

LOL!

Have a great weekend and God Bless you!

Public School...Worse Than I Thought Actually!!!

[In which I rant extensively about how bad public school really is!!!]

OK, first, let me start by saying that if you are homeschooling right now - take a moment to thank the Lord for blessing you! You are right where you should be. Believe me! :)

Public school has been not as bad as I expected and yet, way worse than I expected - in very bizarre ways. This is our fourth week of it, and I'm praying it settles down soon.

The kids in public school have, so far, been WAY better than I expected them to be. They've been pretty awesome actually. What I expected from the public school experience was more bullies and less friends. What I've seen so far is a bunch of mostly sweet kids and my kids are making good friends.

There has been *some* "bullying". My sweet little Monkey4, the 4yo, got a big bruise on her chest the second day of school when a boy in her class pushed her and hurt her pretty bad. Then he hit her again the next day. Then I had a talk with the teacher [who ignored Monkey4 when she tried to explain what happened and who wasn't watching closely enough to witness either assault in her preschool classroom, nor was her aide], who then explained to the offending boy that he should not do that. Apparently nobody had explained this to him before, and now he and Monkey4 are buddies and he hasn't beaten her ever again. Go figure.

But over all, the kids have been nice.

What I did not expect was to have so much trouble with the teachers.

My parents both taught public school for 30+ years [**Applause**]. I admire them both a lot, and I generally think of teachers as being people like my mom and dad - wonderful people who really care about kids.

Ummmm...not necessarily.

SOME teachers are like my mom and dad. Some are definitely not.

Take Monkey1 for instance. Brilliant child, sweet girl, very obedient to authority figures, LOVES learning with a thirst that amazes me and everyone around her. She has always excelled in her group classes and always emerged as a "teacher's pet".

She's had, BY FAR, the hardest time with the divorce and the move and with being placed in public school. I expected her to have trouble socially - being smart doesn't help in school socially speaking. And she was having a lot of trouble even trying to relate to new peers because she really, REALLY doesn't want to be here.

But I expected her to do well with her teachers. I think she did too. She went into school and worked her heart out academically - she has made 100 on every single test she's taken [dozens already in only 4 weeks!] except one - she made a 91 on that one. She's tried her hardest to do what the teachers have asked and has participated in class discussions and has really given her all.

Her teachers hate her. Well, not all her teachers. Her music teacher loves her. Her school counselor [who I've asked to talk with her to work through some of the issues from the divorce] adores her - thinks she's just amazing. But her academic teachers hate her.

I really couldn't understand it - I had gotten the feeling at the "Open House" night when I met her home room teacher that there was *serious* prejudice against home schoolers [based on the fact that she totally changed her demeanor and was rude as heck to me after she found out I had homeschooled my kids prior to their enrollment]. But still - I expected Monkey1 to win her over quickly.

Not so. I couldn't understand it until two of Monkey1's teachers jumped me in the school yard one morning [I was there to meet with Monkey2's teacher about his reading problems - more on that in a minute]. They started going on and on about how much of a problem Monkey1 was in the classroom, how horrible it was having her in their classes, etc.

I was SO confused - I finally asked "Could you give me a specific example of what the problem is?". You know what heinous crimes this child committed that had these teachers hating her guts and being mean to her? [Yes, MEAN to her] She.... got up to sharpen her pencil in the middle of class the first week of school because she did not [GASP!] know that children were not allowed to do that.

And then, there was the day that she answered the teacher's question. The teacher asked a question out loud in science class [a subject she's very passionate about and interested in] and she thought she wanted an answer from the class....she spoke up and gave the answer [the *correct* answer]. The teacher got angry with her. The other kids laughed at her and said "Way to go! Good job moron" etc. She began to cry [this was her 3rd day of public school]. At which point the teacher said [in front of the whole class] "Oh, give me a break!!! SUCK IT UP!!! Go to the bathroom and wash your face!". At which point my child fled from the room ....

I can see how this would instill a love for learning and a passion to learn more, can't you?

She has spent almost every day in "Detention Hall". The first time she was sent because the school counselor called her out of class at the end of the day and a homework assignment was given while she was gone, so she did not know about it. When she came back the next day without the assignment she didn't know about, the teacher sent her to D-hall. [and got *angry as hell* at me when I questioned her about it. Later, the guidance counselor was *furious* when she found out about it, and she actually engaged the principal at that point - and things have improved since then]. Then Monkey1 was sent to D-hall the next day because she missed 4 questions on the work she did the day before in D-hall [probably because she was crying and upset at the unfairness of it, which I would have been too]. She was then sent to D-hall for not logging on to a certain website the night before [it was part of their homework] - the thing was, the teacher TOLD them the site was buggy and they might not be able to get on. She and I tried THREE times that night to log on and the site wasn't working - the teacher didn't care [I had written a note letting the teacher know this even!], she sent her to D-hall anyway.

It has gone on and on and on - this child has been sent to D-hall almost every day and she's never actually done anything *wrong*, much less *malicious*. It is INSANE.

Then there is my poor son - Monkey2 - who is a late reader - just like my father, me, and Monkey1 before him. My father failed 3rd grade 3 times because of his late reading, and went on to achieve the equivalent of a PhD and to become a literally world famous teacher who innovated new ideas on how to help children learn [The "Classroom in the Wild"] and was featured on a Disney channel special as one of the best teachers in the United States - oh, and yeah, he's written several very well respected text books and some great fiction as well. Me? I was in the "slow" class at school and told I was stupid until I finally learned to read at the end of second grade and became a straight A student - graduating with honors from college and doing very well academically from that point on. And Monkey1? That kid couldn't read a stinking Bob book in second grade. Then, suddenly, it "clicked" for her and she went in four months from not reading at all to reading "Eragon" cover to cover in 5 days. NOW, she holds the record at her public school for having the very highest reading level in the whole school - an entire year higher than the "former" record holder!

So, Monkey2 is right on target for our family - he's bright as a flippin super nova, can figure out anything, build anything and is making straight 100s in math. But the kid can't read. So, of course, he's in the "stupid" class - they don't call it that now. Now they give you a pink dot if you are stupid. But Monkey2 [not actually BEING stupid] knows what that means - he came home crying telling me that he was dumb and that the only other kid in his class who had a pink dot was the kid from Mexico who couldn't even speak any English yet. :( :(

So, I had the "conference" with his teacher [who is a very sweet woman, don't get me wrong] and the school principal [who I also like a great deal]. They told me nothing I didn't know already - but don't seem to have any plan to help the boy. Well, actually, they DO have a plan - *I* am to work with him intensively every night after homework.

And don't get me started on the homework thing - my goodness! My poor second grader has 2-3 hours of homework every single night. And I know it is partly because of the reading delay, but even the good readers have GOT to be spending 1-2 hours on this amount of work. It is INSANE!!!

Somehow I'm supposed to work in extra reading drills after those 2-3 hours of homework - AND I'm still expected to feed and bathe the kids at some point. [They had an "assembly" today at school where the "doctor" told them that they all have to take baths every night. Really. That's what they are doing with their time....maybe that's why they have so much homework - no time for academics during the school day?]

So, Monkey2 is averaging 100 in math and something around 20 in reading, and about a 60 in spelling. [hard to spell when you can't read]. I just can't wait to see his report card, let me tell ya.

Oh, and my favorite thing of all - he keeps getting put in D-hall too almost every single day because he can't read well enough to finish his work "on time" in class [and no, the homework he is bringing home is not work he didn't finish in class, it is other work specifically for home work that all the kids get].

Again, he hasn't behaved badly EVEN ONCE since he started school [his teacher *loves* how "sweet" and "obedient" he is], yet he spends almost every day in Detention.

This helps him how?

And my First Grader, Monkey3, is having a lesser version of the same problem - she can't read yet either.

ALL the emphasis in public school is on early reading - kids who can't read early are failed. Literally. Monkey4 has a 5 average in spelling right now - you didn't misread, that's a FIVE. She made a zero on the first test and then made a 10 on the second test - after extensive drilling by me at home every night on her spelling words [hours of it!]. :( :( She just doesn't *get* it [YET]. But she, too, has a 100 average in math.

Then there's lots of other things - like my 4yo being told she was not allowed to pray at school *even silently to herself*. Like the constant pressure to send in money for fundraisers, to sell things, to give the kids money for junk food every day [sales benefit the school], etc etc etc. I could go on and on, but I better reign it in I guess - it is getting late! ;)

Soooo.. I don't know. I don't know what to do.

I've got to start back to school myself in January [I'm going for my RN/BSN at a local college, with plans to later get my CNM and become a midwife once all my kids are in school]. I really *can't* homeschool any more right now.

But this public school thing has been a fiasco. My children are either afraid to perform well or they are being told they are stupid. :( :(

I am just waiting, hoping, praying it gets better. Surely it will....

That's our big update for now. It has been a crazy, stressful, agonizing month, that's for sure.

Public School....Not So Bad, Actually!

The kids started public school this week [even riding the bus!]. It went really well - sooooo much better than I expected!

All 4 older kids are going [5th grade, 2nd grade, 1st grade, and GA Pre-K]. They all seem to be doing really well, they've all made friends already, and they all seem to be enjoying it over all.

I like their school - it is a smaller, "home town" type school [unlike the "Mega" schools we just moved away from]. It has a smaller, more cozy, friendly feeling. So far I really like the teachers and the principal. I'd say over all it has been a very positive experience [so far - only on day 4 of course LOL!].

Even the school bus has been a fun thing - they all have enjoyed riding it. I debated the school bus long and hard with myself - so much bad stuff can happen on buses. But we are almost the last stop before they get to school [we are only 1 mile from their school], and it seems to be working well.

If I ever get my computer back on line [I'm on the kids computer right now] I'll upload some of the cute shots I got of them waiting for the bus.

It has been fun being home with just the two little ones during the day. For Monkey5, who is 2.5 years old, it has been cool to watch her get to be the "Big Sister". She's loving "her" baby and taking care of her [Monkey6]. She does ask me about 57 times every day where her brother and big sisters are, where her daddy is, where her grandparents, aunts, uncle and cousin are... over and over. The transition to "Just" her and the baby and I has been a weird one for her I think. But I think she's adjusting well and I think it will all turn out fine. [Oh, and the first day the kids rode the school bus she was completely freaked out by the big yellow bus pulling up and then swallowing all her older siblings and then disappearing! Oh MAN did that throw her for a loop!].

I am doing well over all. I'm pretty overwhelmed at bedtime [OK, completely, obscenely overwhelmed at bedtime] but that is the only time I'm really struggling.

Mostly I'm struggling right now because the school enforces "nap time" for the Preschoolers at the end of the day - so my little 4 yo is taking an hour nap right before she comes home and now she doesn't want to go to bed at night. AND, because the house is pretty small, she's keeping *everyone* up with her antics. The older and younger kids are all exhausted because they aren't getting enough sleep. I'm not sure what to do about it other than take her out of school, which I'd rather not do, she's really excited about going.

I am also really struggling with my oldest child right now - she took the divorce the hardest, but was coping pretty well I thought. Then we had an unfortunate problem crop up with another adult in her life saying and doing some things that caused a huge rift between her and the rest of our family - a very, very damaging thing [and a betrayal of MY trust in that person]. My daughter doesn't even want to be *part* of our family at this point I don't think. :(

I've been struggling with her a great deal this week - it has been very bad, very exhausting, and very frustrating [since the last thing we needed right now was MORE strife and more hardship to cope with]. I'm hoping that this negative influence and the negative "Reign of Awfulness" it has inspired is going to wear off soon, I'm praying it does. I am worried about my oldest - very worried. She's gone from a bright, happy child to an extremely negative person who is isolating herself from everyone who loves her. She's an awesome kid and I don't want to see this situation destroy her. :( [She IS doing well in school though at least - and making friends. So, I'm hopeful.]

My family here has been amazingly helpful in all of this. [In fact, I took my oldest to my parents' house after the first day of school when she came home behaving horribly and I realized I was about to just completely lose it with her - it is SO awesome to have my parents close enough that I can do that!].

So, over all, things are great. I'm very concerned about my oldest child and I'm completely exhausted being a single parent of 6 at bedtime, but otherwise things have gone much, MUCH better than I expected. If I can get my oldest back on track, I think life is going to be very good. [I'm assuming the bedtime issues will settle down over time!].

Anyway, that's what's going on here!

LOL!

Need more laughs? This is our favorite site. LOL!

LOL - Quote of the Day

[Suddenly, things all become clear at the Monkey House....]

So, at lunch today I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries and picked up some lunch to bring home for DH [who is working from home] and the family. We won some gift certificates to Five Guys at the Scout auction last week, and I couldn't let those go to waste....

As we were sitting having lunch together, I said to my husband "You know, I'm old. Really old."

And he said "Why do you say that?"

And I said "Well, in Five Guys awhile ago, they were listening to hard core Punk Rock, and they were listen to what used to be my favorite bands. And I was just standing there, waiting for my order, and thinking 'Why did I ever like this music? It just sounds like a lot of noise and screaming'... and that's when I realized I was just really old."

My husband stares at me open mouthed and says "I don't even know who you are any more! You have lost your Chaos!"

**silent pause**

Then my oldest child pipes up "Yeah, she pushed it all out in the form of 6 children".

ROFL!!!!

And suddenly, it all makes so much more sense.... ;)