The 10 Plagues

Much like the ancient Egyptians, I feel that our family has been stricken with Plagues. [tongue in cheek here, bear with me!]

My oldest child and I came up with this list of the 9 plagues we have thus far endured since we had to move to our slum house:

1. Roaches [I have never seen such an infestation as what existed here in this house two exterminators and several hundred dollars ago]

2. Kidney Stones [this one was my private plague]

3. Mice [another massive infestation that we still can't seem to stem, though my exterminator came back out again last week - he's here on a bi-weekly basis at this point and I spend more quality time with him than any other adult male. We'll be announcing our engagement soon. ;) ]

4. Mold [this wretched rental house is infected with mold - you can smell it when you turn on the air or after it rains. I highly suspect this mold has led directly to some of the other plagues listed below.]

5. Flu [we have suffered no less than THREE confirmed flu outbreaks within the family in the last 8 months - one swine flu outbreak [the mildest] and two different strains of "seasonal flu"].

6. Pneumonia [I have had pneumonia 3 times in the last 8 months, my son has had it twice]

7. Rotovirus / Norovirus [two completely separate outbreaks of a highly contagious seven day stomach virus complete with scary high fevers - which destroyed both our Christmas and our Easter]

8. Tumors [I had to have surgery for thyroid tumors, my baby had to have surgery for a tumor on her ear. Thankfully the plague of Tumors was composed of benign tumors only - Praise God!]

9. Slugs [the ninth plague is upon us - giant slugs infesting my children's bedroom. I have never seen slugs this large. I do not know where they are coming from or how they are getting in [or why they only seem to like that one bedroom]. But last night I trod on one in the middle of the night and it was insanely ICKY!]

So, now I am off to buy a lamb. I must slaughter that sucker and get my doorposts painted in lamb's blood before the Angel of Death gets here to take my Firstborn. [I'm not letting her go!!!].

And people wonder why I sometimes suspect that God hates me.... ;)

Quote of the Day:

Again in the category of "Things I Never Thought I Would Hear".

My son comes running up to me with tears in his eyes, in obvious pain, and says "Mama! I kicked myself in the crotch!"

Indeed...???!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread Recipe

Want something that has green stuff in it but tastes DIVINE and even my pickiest child loves? Try this Zucchini bread! I promise you that you will not be able to tell there is Zucchini [and applesauce!] in there at all - it tastes like rich chocolate cake!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread Recipe

Ingredients:

2 cups grated zucchini [I chopped mine very small in my food processor]. It took 3 medium sized zucchini to get 2 cups for me.
3 eggs
1 cup applesauce
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup canola oil
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 1/4 cups flour
6 ounces chocolate chips [that's 1/2 a 12 oz bag]
1/2 cup cocoa

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350. Spray two loaf pans with cooking spray. [I used 4 smaller loaf pans]. Set aside.

Add zucchini, eggs, applesauce, sugar, and oil and mix well. Add the rest of the ingredients and mix just enough to incorporate everything.

Divide batter between the loaf pans.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Watch closely, because this can vary a lot depending on the size of your loaf pans.

Kelly's Black Bean Soup

1 onion, diced
1 TBSP olive oil
1 15 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed
2 cups of chicken broth [I use Swanson organic]
1 cup of your home made salsa [see recipe below] or store bought
juice of 1 lime
salt to taste
scallions, chopped finely

optional:

mexican shredded cheese or any cheese of your choice
sour cream

saute your onion in olive oil until translucent. Add black beans, chicken broth, and salsa and bring to a boil. Simmer for about 10 minutes. I usually take a potato masher at this point and carefully mash up my beans a bit in the pot to give it a creamy texture.

Add lime juice and salt to taste. Dish up and top with scallions.

At this point, you have a nice, healthful black bean soup. [omit the olive oil and it is basically fat free].

If you care to make it not-fat-free-but-awesomely-delicious - stir in some sour cream and top with shredded cheese.

This also makes an amazing bean dip for chips if you cut the chicken broth in half [only use one cup] and then mash it well after it simmers - totally yummy!

Home Made Tomato Salsa

2 cans of diced tomatoes [or sub your more healthful home made stewed tomatoes in an equal amount if you have them!]
1 small can of tomato sauce [8 oz]
1 small can of green chilis
optional: 1 or 2 or more slices of pickled jalapeno [only if you like it hot]
large handful of cilantro
3 large scallions with the white parts
2-3 cloves garlic, minced or run through garlic press
1/2 tsp cumin
salt to taste

Throw all of this in a blender and puree till it is well mixed. Serve with anything and everything. :)

Mango Salsa

2 ripe mangoes
1/2 small sweet onion [or you can sub 3 scallions w/ white part]
1 handful of fresh cilantro
2 limes
1-2 cloves garlic [depending on how much you love garlic!]
Salt to taste
red pepper [optional]

Cut up your mangoes and throw them in the food processor with the onion, cilantro, and juice of two limes. [If you don't do food processors, you can certainly chop this all finely by hand and mix it together].

Put your garlic clove[s] through a garlic press or mince finely by hand and add them to the mango mixture. Then add salt to taste and red pepper if you like it.

This is awesome served with tortilla chips, pita chips, served over baked or grilled chicken or fish... eaten from a spoon by itself... ;) I love this salsa!

Quote of the Day:

My son just walked up to me and said:

"Look Mom, I want to show you something on the other side of Isabella's eye lid!"

[Isabella is the 6yo].

Now... there are just so many things that are wrong about that.... ROFL! [He wasn't kidding either - for some bizarre reason he had been pulling up her eyelid to investigate... ]

I am NEVER bored. Never.