Quote of the Day:

A certain child, who has requested to remain anonymous, said this to me:

"I'm sorry, but when you called me awhile ago, I couldn't come because I was in the middle of making food for the dung beetles."

[It took me a minute to figure out what that meant too LOL!]

I Finished My Book!

I finished my juvenile fiction novel yesterday! The whole thing.

I have written an actual BOOK. I am stunned. How did I manage that? LOL!

Now I begin my first re-write and revisions [the first of many I am certain], but gosh y'all - I WROTE A BOOK!!!!

:D :D

"Celibacy" is Not a Dirty Word

We live in a world that believes Celibacy is impossible.

Just look around if you don't believe me [I bet you didn't have to look did you?].

When my husband first abandoned me, Celibacy was a HUGE concern in my mind. I didn't see how on Earth I'd accomplish living a Celibate life. I was never one of those folks who lost interest in the, um, "marital union", shall we say. I never got "bored" with my husband [or with monogamy].

The idea of living a Celibate life was scary.

But I know that Celibacy is exactly what God is calling me to, and I Submit.

When my husband left, I knew *immediately* that I would never, ever expose my children to some string of "boyfriends" and "lovers" like so many single parents seem to do. You only have to look around at our broken society to see why I feel that way - children are frequently abused by their biological parent's boy/girl friends. My kids have suffered more than enough and I will never put them in a situation where they are at risk.

It took me another year after he left to realize that "Remarriage" was also a bad idea. IF my Annulment comes through [and there is no reason, at all, to think that it won't - there are at least 8 different grounds that make my marriage invalid], I can certainly remarry with the blessings of my Church.

But is that wise? I did a lot of reading about step families a few months back, and I think the answer is NO. It is not wise. At All.

Remarriages that involve existing children have an astronomical rate of unhappiness - and generally the children suffer. Step parents in general do NOT love their step children like they love their own children [ no matter how much we want to believe in the Brady Bunch, it is extremely rare to see a remarriage come together like that - you'd be more likely to hit the Big Game lotto.].

Remarriages with children have an extremely high divorce rate too [I've seen some estimates as high as 90%].

The best one can *realistically* expect from a step parent is that they won't abuse your kids. The step parent may turn out to be decent to the kids. [Odds are against this however, single parents should not kid themselves]. Certainly there are step parents who genuinely love their step children and who are wonderful to the step children - but they are NOT the norm.

There also appears to be a good deal of "pretending" going on in single parent courtships too from what I gather from my reading - potential partners "pretending" to just love those cute little children until after the wedding - when suddenly they feel comfortable enough to voice their true feelings. So even if I found a guy who seemed perfect, I wouldn't really KNOW if he was until after I'd taken that unbreakable Vow, would I?

And even if I did "luck out" and happen to get that Knight In Shining Armor who is a Paragon of Christian Love and Decency and he doesn't harm my children - is it really in my children's best interest to have him around, even then?

I kinda have to say No. I had a very brief period where I spoke with a Catholic Gentleman who was very interested in dating me seriously and we went out on one date. What I found in that time period was that a lot of my energy went towards that relationship - my thoughts, my time, my energy, etc were invested in him. All of that SHOULD have been invested in my children.

My thoughts and my time belong with my children right now. My children have been through a very traumatic experience. My children only have one real parent. My children NEED me - it is not in their best interest that I invest my time and energy in dating Some Guy. My children need everything I have to give and it isn't fair to them for me to squander myself on some stranger who most likely won't ever be a member of our family - and who is most likely to be a negative force in their lives if he DOES become a member of our family.

I am firmly convicted at this time that God is NOT calling me to remarriage. This may change as my children get older and need less from me, I don't know. But at this point in my life, I am prepared and willing to remain single because my Vocation of Motherhood is DEFINITELY where God is calling me - THAT is where my energy belongs.

So, remarriage is out for me. God and I will prayerfully review this every 6 months [we have a standing date] and I trust that HE will make it clear to me if this ever changes. I don't have to worry about it - I am focused on the things He has set before me, nothing else.

And it goes without saying that if I am remaining single, I have to be a *shining example* of Purity if I want my children to believe what I have taught them - that sex is good [AWESOME!] in marriage but that sex outside of marriage leads to pain & misery.

Fornication is just unwise, for a million reasons - not the least of which is because God specifically and clearly says "Hey, don't do that Crap". The older I get, the more I realize just how amazingly BRILLIANT our God is. He is WAY smarter than you, me, or any of those liberated intellectuals out there who are arguing with Him.

I have learned [absolutely the hard way] that when I stray from what God tells me to do, it goes badly. 100% of the time.

It only took me about 38 years of being a Head Strong Idiot to finally put the pieces together and have that light bulb moment, but there you go. :)

This is a lesson that I want to teach my children - I don't want them to have to learn this the long, hard, insanely painful way like I did.

So, remarriage and fornication are out as far as I'm concerned and that leaves.... Celibacy.

Our culture clearly believes that Celibacy is impossible. Our sex drives are too powerful, we are too weak to say no to our most base desires, and we should not even be expected to resist our animal instincts.

Our Catholic Priests and Religious face this prejudice as well - people simply don't believe it is *possible* that they could be celibate. Many people who even call themselves Catholic believe that priestly celibacy is wrong, or at the very least impossible for normal men.

Personally, I have been surprised by the actual Reality.

Celibacy IS very possible. It CAN be done. You don't shrivel up and die and your private parts don't even turn blue.

Who knew?

But I believe it takes a strong faith in God to manage it. [Thus why most Westerners can't even contemplate it].

God has granted me incredible Grace in this matter. I said to Him "God, you know I'm lonely and you know I miss having a partner, but I am open to your Will. WHATEVER it is." [I was scared to say that, by the way].

And God, gentle and loving as He always is, took my feeble "fiat" and piled Grace upon Grace on my head.

He gave me the answer I feared [that I should remain Celibate and unmarried] but then He turned around and gave me the Grace to accomplish His Will - without much effort of my own.

Here are the things I found that have helped me keep this vow of Celibacy that I have made:

1. Guard your eyes. We live in a society that is so saturated with Sex that you almost can't avoid it. I stopped watching TV shows that caused my mind to stray to inappropriate places. [I was already pretty strict about what I watched, but I had to get even tougher. I needed to omit shows that were not overtly sexual but which portrayed things that were sometimes not appropriate. I'm contemplating ditching TV altogether]. When I stopped allowing myself to watch or read anything like this, celibacy became a LOT easier.

2. Keep Busy. This one I have covered. LOL! But it does help. That old adage about Idle hands being the Devil's playground is not wrong.

3. Don't Tell Yourself Lies. This probably sounds crazy, but people OFTEN tell themselves "Oh, we'll just be friends" or "Oh, nothing will happen" and they believe themselves and put themselves in tempting situations. I think they actually believe their own lies until they end up in bed with someone they shouldn't be.

4. Use Common Sense. This goes hand in hand with the thing above - but don't put yourself in situations that could become an occasion of Sin for you - just don't do it. Your life will be a lot easier.

5. Pray. Ask God to help you. He will. This should actually be Number 1.

These are the suggestions I have for anyone who is struggling with this issue. These are the things that have helped me. I'm sure there are many other great ideas out there, but this is what works for me.

Sex makes people do stupid things.

Sex makes people stay with lovers who are HORRIBLE for them - lovers that they wouldn't think twice about walking away from if they weren't sexually entangled.

I think Sex disengages our brains actually. We get so involved with Sex that we can't think straight.

When we have a sexual relationship, we spend SO much time and energy on that relationship [even if it isn't a GOOD relationship]. That time and energy could be spent on so many more beneficial things. Like scoping out the potential partner's actual character and whether or not we should stay with them....or finding a cure for cancer. Stuff like that.

My kids can't afford for me to make any more bad choices in our life. [That "picking a husband" bad choice I made was a hum dinger]. I can't afford it either.

So, personally, I'm keeping my brain fully engaged and avoiding the alternatives.

;)

God Bless You!

The Boy Turned NINE!

I'm still in shock, but my baby boy turned NINE last weekend!

He had a great day. His Nana sent him a birthday chocolate chip pound cake from "Breadwinners" and he opted to have that for his birthday breakfast [good choice! YUM!]. Nana also sent him money that he gets to spend - always his favorite thing. LOL!

He got to open his presents from me and his sisters:


We went to my parents' house for a little party where we had lunch and cake and he got to open presents.


Then his Granny took him shopping and spent a fortune on him. He had SUCH a great time picking out presents. Here is a picture of him with his Granny and some of the loot she bought him:


He chose McDonald's as his special birthday dinner [LOL! The ONE day a year he can pick any restaurant and I'll actually buy it for him and he picks McD's! But it made him happy, and that is all that mattered!]



I'm so proud of my son!

He is a very smart boy and is doing great in school. He is starting to get really "into" reading. He is kind hearted and loves to take care of his little sisters - he's a great brother. He is an excellent friend and he is the kind of kid that everyone likes, he gets along with all kinds of people. His teachers love him... he's pretty much loved everywhere he goes.

His favorite things at this time in his life are Bionicles, Wii and DS games, playing on the computer, Bakugan, Pokemon, and Ben 10.

I can't believe how big he has gotten or what a great kid he is.

Happy Birthday Monkey2!!! I love you SO much!!!!

School Daze

This photo is from the first day of Preschool. Aren't they adorable?!!!

August has been the month of starting back to school for our family.

My two little girls, Monkey5, who is 3yo, and Monkey6, who will be 2yo in a few days, started preschool for the first time.

It was an emotional thing. I would normally have waited a year to start Monkey6 - she's really young. But I'm trying to find some way to generate SOME sort of income to get us out of this hell hole we live in.

So, both little girls are going to preschool at a local Church. They go four days a week for 5 hours. My parents are being extremely kind to help me pay for it, otherwise it wouldn't even be possible.

The first week was awful.

The 3yo, who had been BEGGING to go to school since last year - since the first day her siblings all disappeared on that big yellow school bus - decided that she wanted to go to school, but she wanted me to stay there with her. Forever. It took about a week to get her comfortable enough to stay. Now, 3 weeks later, she LOVES it - she's doing beautifully. And it has been really good for her - it is really helping her with her shyness.

I expected my 3yo to have a bit of trouble at first - she has a very intense demeanor inherently and she has had severe [and I mean SEVERE] separation and abandonment issues since her father left. Over all, she had done amazingly well and it is a wonderful experience for her.

The "Baby" - the almost 2yo - is another story altogether. I did not expect her to have trouble - she's my "brave" kid - one of those fearless types who you worry will kill themselves by accident just because they have NO FEAR at all. I expected her to run right in to preschool and never look back, like my older 4 all did [no tears with those kids about going to preschool AT ALL!].

However, I underestimated the impact a parent abandoning a kid has.

My fearless Baby turned into a screaming, crying, sniveling snotball of sadness and desperation when she realized I would be leaving her at preschool.

It did not go well. For the first week I went with her and we stayed for a while and then left together. The second week I tried leaving her and then me leaving but coming back a little later to help her realize that I WAS, in fact, coming back for her. Nothing helped.

She screamed, cried, and freaked the moment we got to the door. Finally the second week the teacher suggested I leave her and just let her cry so she could get used to it.

Now, those of you who know me know I have NEVER "just let her cry" - or any of my children for that matter. I have always used "Attachment Parenting" with my children and this goes against everything I believe in as a parent.

But I had a very hard choice. I am trying to make a career out of writing, so that I can work from home and be here to take care of my children. It is "all me" - I have to find some job that I can do where I can be 100% parent and also make enough money to hopefully get us above poverty level at some point.

If I withdrew her from school and brought her home, I put off the possibility of earning any income for another year. I can't write to any real extent while I care for my child. I also can't go get a job waiting tables, which is what I plan to do if things get too desperate.

I felt like I had to weigh HER wellbeing in this aspect of clearly not being ready for preschool against the wellbeing of the entire family [herself included] - it isn't good for any of us to live the way we live right now.

So, I tried it the teacher's way. The Baby cried for 25 minutes while I sat just outside the door crying myself. Her teacher held her and she wailed. Then she stopped. I peeked in and she was interested in the book the teacher was reading. I left, hoping that we had finally conquered this mountain.

Not so much. She cried the next day too - but only for 5 minutes while her teacher held her. The next day she only cried for 2 minutes. The day after that only for 1 minute.

This past week was the third full week. Two days this week she ran to her teacher happily and did not cry. Two days this week she still cried for a minute or so. [I always wait around the corner till she stops].

I don't know if I have done the right thing. It makes me so angry that I am in this position - I would have kept her home for one more year under different circumstances.

But I will say that in the last 2 weeks I have been amazingly productive with writing. I am very close to *finishing* the first draft of the juvenile fiction book I've been writing for the last 8 months. I got more done in these last 2 weeks than I got done in 7 months prior working every spare moment.

I don't know if I'll be able to sell this book or not. But the next book I'm planning is a book on childbirth - and I do believe I'll be able to sell that one. And the parenting book I plan to write after that.

So, I have hope that I may be able to make a successful career out of writing - it is going very well.

I hope that this trade off with putting The Baby in preschool a year early when she's not really ready will be worth it - to all of us - in the end. I hope it is going to lead to a career that can support our family while allowing me to also care for the children by myself.

In other news - My older 4 children started back to public school two weeks ago. It is going AMAZINGLY well for them.

Monkey1, who will soon be 12 [which I am still stunned to realize!], started Middle School this year. I was worried for her [I remember starting Middle School as being pretty much a nightmare myself], but it has gone SO incredibly well! She's adjusted like a dream. All of her academic classes are Gifted Classes, which is good for her. They also put her in an "advanced" PE class for athletes and she's doing well in that as well. I really couldn't be happier about how she is doing.

Monkey2, 9yo, Monkey3, 7yo, and Monkey4, 5yo, all went back to the same elementary school where they went last year. They are all doing very well too - great academically and socially. All 3 are bringing home excellent grades already and are doing great.

So, all in all, 5 out of 6 children are doing well in school. Miss Baby is adjusting - every morning she says she wants to go to school, she just cries when I leave. I think she has fun there - she seems to. She just doesn't want to be away from her mom, which I can understand. I hope it will get better for her soon.

And now, I just have some random funny pictures to share, totally unrelated. LOL!

Here is The Baby wearing some of those freaky fake teeth that the kids got for Halloween last year. She found them in the toy box and inserted them herself. Ain't she purty? ;)



Here's my son in the same teeth. Doesn't he look like he's at the top of his class to you? LOL!



And remember those tiny little Christmas Puppies? Well, check them out now:



Pigtail cuteness is rampant around here:


Monkey4 LOVES to dance:



She also did Cheer Camp this summer:


Monkey1 and her Side Kick:


Here is my sweaty little Monkey5 trying to sleep in the heat [our AC died in June and we live in Georgia... it has been HOT!!!!]

Quotes of the Day:

On the way to Church this morning, I hear The Boy say from the backseat:

"I'm going to need a weapon with a longer range for this".

I thought it best not to ask... LOL!

And before we left for Mass this morning, Monkey1 says to the younger kids: "Does anyone have to go to the bathroom before we leave? Go now or forever hold your Pee."

World War III

I have renamed my children.

My 11yo is now "The USA"; she keeps telling the rest of the world what to do.

My 8yo & 7yo are "Israel" & "Palestine", respectively.

Then we have "South Korea" [5yo] & "North Korea" [3yo]. North Korea has the Nukes & she's not afraid to use them.

And then we have little "Iran", 1yo, who just goes around randomly threatening to bomb Infidels world wide [w/ great follow through].

I've decided that I am the British Empire in decline. I'm here trying to rule this world and keep these Heathen Nations under control, and it just isn't working any more.

The Doggone Colonials keep acting out.

Yeah, school needs to start back soon or I'm seriously going to consider a blanket "Scorched Earth Policy" just to stop the Fighting.

Tea, anyone?